Other Questions to Ask a Grieving Friend Besides, "How Are You?"
Because the Answer is Probably Not, "Good."
Some people may answer that question in the positive simply out of habit, but there are other questions that will serve your grieving friends much better. Consider these:
- How has this day (or week) been going?
- It's beautiful outside. Can I come over and just sit with you?
- Do you remember that time Frank hit a hole-in-one (or whatever story you choose)?
Questions like these show your friends that you're willing to listen. You are not there to give advice and tell them their loved one is in a better place. Forget the sappy cliches. Let them talk and share their feelings and memories, all of which can lead to healing.
Try these:
- I'll be in the neighborhood on Thursday, so let's have lunch - my treat. I'll bring it over at noon.
- I'm making a grocery run on Saturday. What's on your list?
It's tough to make choices when you're grieving, so asking your friends questions like these can make things easier for them. They don't have to choose a date for you to come over or get dressed to go to the store. They just know they will be taken care of.
- I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Can I give you a hug?
And last - but not least - just be there for them. Sometimes your presence is more powerful than words.
How did your friends take care of you when you were grieving?
