How to Write a Meaningful Obituary and Online Tribute
Sitting down to write an obituary for someone you love is one of the hardest writing assignments you'll ever face. You're grieving, there's a deadline, and somehow you're supposed to capture an entire life in a few paragraphs. If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a breath, that's completely normal, and you don't have to figure it out alone.
At Starkson Family Funeral Homes, we've walked alongside hundreds of families in Hastings, Apple Valley, and the surrounding southeast metro communities as they've written these final tributes. Below, we'll walk you through why an obituary matters, how to write one step by step, a simple fill-in-the-blank template to get you started, what Minnesota newspapers require if you're placing a print notice, and how to share your loved one's story online.
Why an Obituary Matters
An obituary is more than a notice that someone has passed away, it's the community's introduction to who that person really was. It tells neighbors, coworkers, and old friends how to pay their respects, but it also does something more lasting: it preserves a life story for the people who will look for it years from now, whether that's a grandchild researching family history or a friend who wants to remember a favorite story.
A well-written obituary:
- Informs the community of the passing and shares service or visitation details
- Honors your loved one's legacy by highlighting who they were, not just what they did
- Gives family and friends a place to grieve together , especially through an online guest book or tribute wall
- Becomes part of the historical and genealogical record , often searched by future generations
Because it carries so much weight, it's worth taking your time, even if the newspaper deadline feels tight.
How to Write an Obituary, Step by Step
There's no single "right" way to write an obituary, but most meaningful ones follow a similar rhythm. Here's a simple approach.
1. Start with the basics. Full name (including a maiden name or nickname, if applicable), age, city of residence, and the date and place of passing.
2. Share the life story. Birthdate and birthplace, parents' names, where they grew up, and the major chapters of their life, education, career, military service, hobbies, and passions. This is the heart of the obituary, so don't be afraid to let their personality come through.
3. Mention the people who mattered. List a spouse (including "the late" if they preceded your loved one in death), children, grandchildren, siblings, and close family. It's also thoughtful to acknowledge cherished friends or a beloved pet if that fits who they were.
4. Add a personal detail or two. Maybe they never missed a Twins game, made the best hotdish in the county, or spent every summer at the cabin. These small, specific details are often what readers remember most.
5. Include service information. Visitation, funeral or memorial service, and burial or celebration of life details, dates, times, and locations.
6. Note memorial preferences. If the family would like flowers, or would prefer donations to a specific cause or organization in lieu of flowers, include that here.
7. Close with gratitude. A short thank-you to caregivers, medical staff, or the community can be a warm way to end.
A Simple Obituary Template
Feel free to copy this template and fill in the blanks as a starting point. You can always add, remove, or reorder sections to fit your loved one's story.
[Full Name], [age], of [city/town], passed away on [date] at [location]. [He/She/They] was born on [birthdate] in [birthplace] to [parents' names].
[He/She/They] [grew up in / attended / graduated from], and [went on to / worked as / spent __ years] [career, military service, or major life work]. [He/She/They] loved [hobbies, passions, community involvement], and will be remembered for [personality trait or defining quality].
[He/She/They] is survived by [spouse], [children's names], [grandchildren], and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names, relationships].
A visitation will be held on [date] from [time] at [location]. A funeral service [or celebration of life] will follow on [date] at [time], at [location], with burial at [cemetery name].
In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorials be directed to [organization or cause].
The family would like to thank [caregivers, hospital, hospice, or community] for their compassionate care.
Minnesota Newspaper Obituary Requirements
If you'd like to place a print obituary in a Minnesota paper such as the Star Tribune or the Pioneer Press, keep a few things in mind:
- Obituaries are paid classified notices, not staff-written news articles (a newspaper will only write its own editorial obituary for someone of significant public note, and that's entirely up to their editorial team).
- Pricing is usually based on length, often by the line or by the word, rather than a flat fee, so a longer obituary will cost more. There's typically no strict length limit, but it's worth deciding on a budget before you start writing.
- Deadlines matter. Most papers need your submission by early-to-mid afternoon the day before publication, and deadlines get earlier around weekends and holidays. Always confirm the current cutoff directly with the paper.
- Photos are welcome but often need to meet specific size or file requirements, so check with the publication before submitting.
- Print obituaries are usually paired with an online version, which you can often continue to update after the print piece runs.
Because every newspaper's process is a little different, we're always happy to help our families gather the details, format the obituary correctly, and submit it on time.
Sharing an Online Tribute
More families today are choosing to share an obituary online in addition to, or instead of, a print notice, and it's a beautiful way to let a wider circle of friends and family take part in remembering your loved one. A few tips:
- Post the obituary on the funeral home's website, where it can include a guest book for friends and family to leave condolences and memories.
- Add photos or a slideshow. A handful of meaningful photos often say as much as the words themselves.
- Share it on social media so extended family and friends who live farther away can see service details and pay their respects.
- Keep it updated if service details change, and consider leaving the tribute page live so people can continue to add memories in the weeks and months that follow.
An online tribute never really closes, it becomes a living space where people can return to share a memory whenever they need to.
We're Here to Help
Writing an obituary while you're grieving is genuinely hard, and you don't have to do it by yourself. Our team at Starkson Family Funeral Homes is here to help you write, format, and place your loved one's obituary, in print and online, with the same care and attention to detail we bring to every service we provide.
Visit our obituary assistance page to view current obituaries, share a tribute, or get in touch with our staff for help writing one of your own. You're also always welcome to call us directly at (651) 437-9419 — we're here for you, day or night.
